Leaving Baby With a Babysitter: A Calm First-Time Guide

Leaving baby with a babysitter for the first time is one of the biggest emotional hurdles of new parenthood, and the most reassuring thing I can tell you is that preparation does most of the work. A sitter who has your emergency numbers, your baby’s routine, and a clear set of safety rules is set up to succeed, and you are set up to actually enjoy your evening out.

I remember standing at my own front door, keys in hand, running through a mental checklist for the fifth time. What finally settled my nerves was writing everything down. In this guide I’ll share the exact steps I use, drawing on advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the CDC, so you can walk out the door feeling ready.

Key Takeaways

• Leaving baby with a babysitter goes best when you meet the sitter first, check references and training, and let them spend time with your baby while you are still home.
• Leave a single, easy-to-find sheet with phone numbers, your address, allergies, and your baby’s routine.
• Safe sleep rules do not change when you are away: back to sleep, in a bare crib, every time.
• Tell your sitter exactly what to do if the baby will not stop crying, including when to take a short break and when to call you.
• Talk with your pediatrician about anything health-related, including whether a sitter should ever give food or medicine.

When Is It Okay to Leave Baby With a Sitter?

There is no official age on the calendar that says you are ready. It depends on your comfort, your baby’s temperament, and your sitter’s experience. Many parents I know start with a short outing of an hour or two while baby is well rested and recently fed, then build up from there.

If you are unsure about your baby’s health, feeding needs, or readiness for a longer separation, your pediatrician is the right person to ask. If you are still choosing between a sitter and a formal program, my guide to choosing childcare for your baby walks through the options.

How Do You Find and Vet a Babysitter?

The AAP’s babysitting reminders on HealthyChildren.org suggest meeting the sitter ahead of time and checking their references and training. The AAP also advises confirming that the sitter has first aid training and knows CPR, and that the sitter is at least 13 years old and mature enough to handle common emergencies.

For a young baby, I personally lean toward an older, more experienced sitter, but that is my preference rather than a rule. Here is how I approach the interview:

• Ask for two references and actually call them.
• Ask about infant experience and whether they have current CPR and first aid training.
• Ask what they would do if the baby cried for a long time. Their answer tells you a lot.
• Pay attention to how they hold and talk to your baby during the meeting.

What Should You Leave Written Down for the Sitter?

The AAP lists specific information to leave with a sitter: your phone numbers, a neighbor’s phone number, the pediatrician’s contact information, the fire and rescue number, the police number, the Poison Help Line at 1-800-222-1222, your home phone number, and your home address. I tape one page to the refrigerator and send a photo to the sitter’s phone as well.

The same AAP page recommends sharing any allergies or special needs and leaving a note with each child’s date of birth and approximate weight for medical staff. Then I add a second section that is just about my baby: feeding times, how much and how, nap windows, comfort habits, and any quirks. Our baby bedtime routine steps are on that sheet so the evening feels familiar.

A simple sitter sheet

Keep it to one page so nothing gets missed. Include your location and expected return time, because the AAP also advises telling the sitter where you will be and when you expect to come home. Write in plain, friendly language rather than a list of warnings.

How Do You Keep Safe Sleep Rules the Same While You Are Away?

This is the part I never compromise on. According to the CDC, about 3,500 babies in the United States die each year from sleep-related causes, including SIDS and accidental suffocation. Those numbers are why I go over sleep rules out loud, not just on paper.

The AAP guidance, as summarized by the CDC, is to place babies on their backs for every nap and nighttime sleep, use a firm, safety-approved mattress in a crib, and keep pillows, blankets, bumper pads, and toys out of the sleep area. Room-sharing without bed-sharing is recommended. Tell your sitter plainly that the baby sleeps alone, on the back, in the crib, and never on a sofa, in a swing, or in an adult bed.

If you want a deeper look at keeping your home safe overall, see our guide to baby proofing your home before the sitter arrives.

What Should a Sitter Do If the Baby Will Not Stop Crying?

Every baby cries, and a sitter who has never met your baby may feel panicked. The CDC explains that infant crying is typically worst in the first few months, during a period of increased crying between about 4 and 20 weeks of age, and then improves as the baby grows. Knowing this ahead of time makes a hard evening feel more normal.

The CDC notes that abusive head trauma is a leading cause of child abuse deaths in children under five, babies under one year face the greatest risk, and as many as 1 in 4 babies who experience it die. That is sobering, so I talk about it directly. I tell every sitter: never shake a baby, ever, and if you feel overwhelmed, call me right away.

The CDC prevention advice suggests trying to soothe with gentle rocking, singing or talking softly, offering a pacifier, or a stroller walk, and checking for signs of illness. If the sitter is upset, the CDC advises placing the baby in a safe place such as the crib, stepping away to calm down, and checking back every 5 to 10 minutes. The AAP also says it is acceptable for a sitter to place a baby who cannot be soothed in a safe spot like a crib and step away for a few minutes.

What About Feeding, Food, and Medicine?

The AAP tells sitters not to give children any medicine or food unless the parents instruct them to. I take that seriously. I leave pre-measured bottles or clearly labeled milk, written feeding instructions, and nothing else in reach.

I never leave medicine instructions on my own. If your baby has a health condition or needs anything beyond routine feeding, ask your pediatrician what to write down and what the sitter should do. This article is for general information only and is not medical advice. If you want to know who to call, our post on how to choose a pediatrician may help.

How Do You Make the Goodbye Easier?

Separation can be harder on parents than on babies. I try to hand baby over during a calm, happy moment, say a brief and warm goodbye, and leave without lingering. Lingering tends to stretch the moment out for everyone.

Many parents find it helps to have the sitter arrive 20 to 30 minutes early so baby can warm up while you are still around. The AAP also suggests the sitter spend time with the children beforehand to learn their routines. If baby is upset at the door, the sitter can try a different activity or a book, as the AAP suggests.

A quick text for an update is fine. The AAP encourages sitters to call or text for help whenever there is a problem or a question, so make it clear you want to hear from them.

A Walk-Through Checklist Before You Leave

The AAP recommends walking the sitter through the house, pointing out fire escape routes and problem areas. In a fire, the AAP says the sitter should leave right away and call the fire department from a neighbor’s home or a mobile phone. Here is my last-minute checklist:

• Show the sitter the exits, the first aid supplies, and a flashlight.
• Confirm any firearms are stored unloaded in a locked cabinet with ammunition locked separately, as the AAP advises.
• Remind the sitter not to open the door for strangers and never to leave the children alone in the house, even briefly.
• Confirm there is a plan if the sitter must drive anyone, including the correct car seat, per the AAP.
• Share when you will be back and how to reach you.

If you are heading back to a job and building a new routine, you may like our calm guide to returning to work after maternity leave.

Summary

Leaving baby with a babysitter is much easier when you meet the sitter first, check references, and confirm first aid and CPR training. Leave one clear sheet with emergency numbers, your address, allergies, and baby’s routine. Keep safe sleep rules exactly the same, and give the sitter a plan for crying that includes taking a break and calling you. Always check with your pediatrician for anything health-related.

Frequently Asked Questions

What age should a babysitter be for a baby?

The AAP advises that a sitter be at least 13 and mature enough to handle common emergencies. For a young baby, many parents prefer someone older with infant experience, and your own comfort level matters most.

What information should I leave with a babysitter?

The AAP recommends leaving your phone numbers, a neighbor’s number, the pediatrician’s contact information, fire and police numbers, the Poison Help Line, your home phone, and your home address, along with allergies and each child’s date of birth and approximate weight.

Should my sitter give my baby medicine?

The AAP says sitters should not give medicine or food unless the parents instruct them to. Ask your pediatrician what is appropriate for your baby before leaving any instructions.

How do I talk to my sitter about safe sleep?

Be direct. Explain that baby sleeps on the back, alone, in a bare crib, for every nap and at night, following AAP safe sleep guidance. Ask the sitter to repeat it back to you.

What if my baby cries the whole time I’m gone?

Crying is normal and often peaks in the first months, according to the CDC. Tell your sitter to try gentle soothing, check for signs of illness, take a short break in a safe spot if overwhelmed, and call you. If you are ever worried about your baby’s health, contact your pediatrician.